About My Last Wishes

My Last Wishes™ has been written by an Authorised Civil Celebrant. The inspiration for writing My Last Wishes™ came from the author’s own family, in particular her Mother, who was a keen collector and accumulator of all things interesting. Through the years her Mother would often say jokingly “You’re going to have a job going through all this one day Helen”, but after her Mother’s nearly fifty years of living in the same house, when the time did come to sort through possessions, and more importantly, paperwork, there was nothing funny about the task that lay ahead. The collection of interesting things had morphed into the collection of anything and everything and there was literally a Mount Everest in every room. 

Bills, both paid and unopened were sandwiched between junk mail from the past decade in some instances. Statements from companies that no longer existed were kept but recent transaction histories were nowhere to be found and sadly some documents had just completely disintegrated. There was no rhyme or reason as to where anything was located and finding particular items proved to be impossible. In amongst all of this, one find was truly amazing. It was the discovery of her grandparent’s rings. They’d been put in a little tampon box for safekeeping. It was like finding the needle in the haystack. Other jewellery had been buried in the garden many years ago and the original treasure map for finding it was no longer any help. The ground had shifted, and the sapling that had once stood guard to mark the spot had grown into a huge tree whose roots had swallowed up the old cake tin and held it fast underground. A metal detector proved to be useless and after an hour of digging the decision was made to leave the treasure buried. 

This was rather an extreme situation and thankfully not one faced by most families, however similar stories are played out every day to varying degrees. When you have the task of sorting through a loved one’s financial obligations and you don’t know what you’re looking for, let alone where to look in the first instance, it’s a frustrating and time consuming experience for all those involved. 

When Helen’s Father passed away 25 years ago her Mother was suddenly on a very steep learning curve with regard to the family finances. She, like many women at the time, had left the bulk of this responsibility to her husband, and she found it difficult to sort through just what had to be done and who had to be contacted. Since then the idea for My Last Wishes™ has grown to include all areas of life as well as the end of life. Again, due to personal experience, Helen’s realised the inclusion of plans for your own funeral can be just as important for the person who makes those plans as it is for the family left behind. As she says, when family members don’t get along in the first place and suddenly they’re thrust into a position of having to see each other and make decisions on “what Mum or Dad would have wanted” it can be a recipe for disaster. Even when the family has got along well in the past, it is a time of highly charged emotions and long buried resentments or jealousies can threaten to take over from the real focus, which is grief at losing someone close to you.  

Helen’s hope in writing My Last Wishes™ is for it to not only help families through a very difficult period in their lives, but to help them come together in a spirit of love and unity. The grieving process is different for each of us, but it is made easier to bear when the loss isn’t compounded by other hurts and sadness.